Me: Why were you scared to go to sleep last night?
Gigi: My friends told a scary story about Freddy Cougar.
Me: You mean Freddy Krueger? The one that gets into your dreams?
Gigi: What? I didn't hear anything about that...
Me: Oh...um... So what did you hear?
Gigi: He has three long claws on the end of his fingers and he has a long scratch on his face and if you summon him, he will kill you with his claws.
Me: Ouch. That's no fun. Did you know that when I first heard about Freddy Krueger I thought his name was Freddy Cougar? I thought he was a Disney character. You know, like a cartoon cougar or something.
Gigi: And I heard about Chucky. He's a doll with a misshapen head and if you summon him he will kill you with two knives that he has.
Me: You know, that's not completely accurate.
Whig: I don't think we need to tell her...
Me: (Give Whig the 'hold on a second' gesture) What really happens when you summon Chucky is he will help you chop your carrots in the kitchen.
Me: Oh yeah. And not just carrots. He'll cut up other vegetables and stuff too. Think about it, why else would he carry chopping knives around? And Freddy uses his claws to slice meat, and um...you know, carve turkeys.
Whig: No, actually, he helps in the garden. That's what those claw things are for: trimming bushes and trees.
Me: Oh that's right. I always get that one wrong. Freddy helps in the garden, and Chucky helps in the kitchen.
Gigi: Does Bloody Mary do anything?
Me: Well yeah, but it doesn't do us any good. She mixes drinks, like, alcoholic drinks. So she wouldn't be much help to us because we don't drink alcohol.
Gigi: Is that why when I summoned Bloody Mary she didn't show up?
Me: Because we don't have any alcohol in the house? Yeah, probably.
Gigi: I did see her brother Brent though.
Me: Brent? Oh, you mean Pee Pee Bob?
Gigi: Nooo. Josie told me his real name is Brent. Pee Pee Bob is just a name you made up.
Me: Whatever. I still think his name is Pee Pee Bob.
Gigi: Can she stir tea?
Me: Mary? I think so, and hot
cocoa. But she mainly does alcoholic drinks. She even has a drink
named after her. It's made with tomato juice and vodka.
Gigi: What's vodka?
Me: It's a type of alcohol.
Gigi: Does a Blood Mary drink look like blood?
Me: No, mostly it just looks like tomato juice. And it has a celery stick in it.
Gigi: Hey! I should tell the neighbors about her! (We live next to four college students)
Me: You should. Maybe they could summon her to mix drinks for their next party.
*Later that day*
Gigi: Mom? Do you know how to summon Freddy and Chucky?